Happy families are the same, as the classic said. What they have in common is that they are rare. There are many more families in which every now and then some problems arise, disagreements occur, misunderstandings occur and relationships deteriorate.
Why is my wife annoying?
Men have a lot of claims against women, often contradictory and ambiguous. But a particular man usually has one main complaint about a particular woman and a couple of minor ones. It is quite easy for a woman to identify them and take measures to eliminate them or at least correct them, if, of course, she wants to save the marriage.
Men most often complain about the following things:
- She pesters me with conversations all the time. Psychologists say that the need for speaking in men is almost two times less than in women. If a man actively communicates at work, then by the evening he has little dialogue potential left. A woman, even if she talked all day at work, still has a fairly high need for communication. Housewives and young mothers have an even greater need for parental leave. Their entire social circle is unable to speak normally Small child or the walls of the house, so they wait for their husband to come home from work in order to satisfy their desire to communicate.
- She is obsessed with cleanliness. The fact that, having gotten up to drink water at night, the husband discovers that the bed has already been made, is funny only in an anecdote. In life, with such behavior, a man is very annoyed by his wife. A man wants live, full-fledged communication with an attractive wife who is interested in him, but instead he sees her constantly with a brush, rag, sponge, washing, rubbing, cleaning. Everything in the house sparkles, so a lot of restrictions are imposed on the family: don’t trample, don’t litter, don’t touch the furniture with your hands, don’t eat in the room, don’t splash in the bathroom. With all the desire for cleanliness, there is no need to turn your home into a sterile operating room.
- With the birth of her child, she stopped paying attention to her husband. Motherhood changes a woman. She is busy with the baby, she is less interested in other people, and even she is already less interesting to herself than the baby. This is normal, as it is provided by nature to preserve the population of any animal species. But we must not forget about our husband. He did not carry or give birth to a child, he did not have hormonal changes, so it is more difficult for him to get used to the appearance of a new family member, who is unceremonious and considers the interests of others. The husband should be involved in caring for the newborn, and not oppose his motherhood to him.
- She often talks on the phone for a long time. Speaking is a necessity for women. The telephone is a great way to satisfy the hunger for communication. But the time of conversations needs to be planned so that the husband does not become a witness to them and does not get irritated about it.
- She's unclean. Men are tolerant of clutter, but stains on the sink and toilet, deposits on the bathtub counters, a mountain of unwashed dishes and stale bed linen gradually begin to irritate them. A woman’s personal uncleanliness has an even more negative impact. Icicle hair, the smell of sweat, bitten nails and plaque on the teeth repel the most undemanding men.
- The house is constantly crowded with her girlfriends. The problem is similar to constant communication on the phone. Girlfriends should come in the absence of their husband and say goodbye to his arrival. The husband wants to relax, and not squeeze hospitality out of himself, and besides, the flashing of pretty faces in front of his gaze is completely useless.
- She smokes (drinks). Bad habits of women irritate men very much, although not obviously. But over time, discontent only accumulates and pours out a stormy stream of reproaches. In addition, a woman’s health deteriorates significantly due to smoking or regular excess of alcohol.
- She dresses and wears excessive makeup. With this behavior, the man is annoyed by his wife because of possible jealousy, because of the increased attention of men to her, and also because the adult married woman in provocative clothes and with too bright makeup, she looks vulgar and is associated not with a wife and mother of a family, but with a “moth.”
- She flirts with other men. There are women for whom male attention is needed like air. Not receiving attention and compliments from her husband, a woman seeks them from other men. This does not mean that we are talking about betrayal, but light, harmless flirting allows a woman to maintain her self-esteem. A woman should explain to her husband that being the center of male attention is her need, and ask her husband to evaluate her appearance and talents more often. Flirting should be as light as possible and not make the husband feel jealous or make him doubt his wife.
- She pays too much attention to her grown child. paying attention to a baby is a completely normal and natural thing. But some women take care of their children until retirement. And until the children retire. It is important to understand that a grown child should be released into a free life, but he should be prepared for this from the first grades of school. The child bears ever-increasing responsibility, then he comes to the graduation party as a formed person with his own principles and life goals. First of all, the children themselves need this. And the freed up time should be devoted to yourself and your husband, if you don’t want to face old age alone or in the company of an unemployed, unlucky child of pre-retirement age.
- She is not at all interested in children. In some women, the maternal instinct is poorly developed or is activated only during the child’s infancy. This is both good and bad. It’s good because the child learns early to be independent and self-sufficient, but it’s bad because the child often lacks attention, love and support, and also causes misunderstanding from the family, especially the husband. If a woman practices a sober approach to parenting, she should express her position to her spouse. But if she is not at all interested in her own children, then she needs the help of a psychologist.
- She works a lot. A well-earning wife is only at first glance in an advantageous position. But in reality, she spends almost all her time on her career, leaving little for her family, husband, and children. Women often have to make an unspoken choice between family and work. Work, of course, brings money, allows you to support high level life, but the husband and children rarely forgive their wife and mother for inattention for many years and feel unnecessary and unhappy.
- She doesn't want to work.
The image of a housewife has not been in fashion for a long time. A man simply doesn’t understand what he can do at home all day and what he can get tired of, even if he comes to a sparkling clean apartment, lies down on freshly ironed sheets and eats a five-course dinner. In order not to live in the annoying image of a housewife and a slacker, it is worth getting a job, at least part-time or working remotely from home. A woman who earns “pins” is socially more attractive in the eyes of a man than an absolute dependent.
- She nags all the time. Many women, instead of making a direct specific request, begin to nag men with reproaches and examples of the well-done husbands of their friends and neighbors. This behavior causes nothing but severe irritation. Moreover, the desire to fulfill a woman’s request. It will be much more effective to express your desire kindly and gently, and then unobtrusively remind about it if your husband has forgotten.
- She doesn't know how to cook. Despite the huge selection of semi-finished products in stores and ample opportunities to order food at home - from fast food to classy restaurant dishes - men want to eat delicious home-cooked food and show off to their friends. Therefore, every woman needs to be able to cook borscht, Olivier, pies and jellied meat.
- She is constantly on a diet. A woman who is constantly losing weight and notifying everyone around her about it looks pathetic and stupid. Even if the diet is indicated for her for health reasons, there is no need to talk about it. At the table you should simply choose the permitted dishes and politely reject the prohibited ones. At home, the husband and children want to receive normal, nourishing food, and not a salad of celery and ginger. Diet is a personal matter, so you shouldn’t force it on your family.
- She doesn't take care of herself. A man wants to see his woman well-groomed and sexy, but an aunt with a pimply face, peeling nail polish with overgrown cuticles, long-grown highlights, with a dozen extra kilos on her sides and in a robe that looks like it was taken away from a homeless person in a fight, cannot be like that Maybe. You don't have to be a millionaire to look attractive. Acne is treated by improving digestion and masks from medicinal herbs, you can carefully file your nails yourself, cut your hair regularly or grow it to a length that does not require correction, and excess weight can be reduced by simple exercises at home and a balanced diet.
- She doesn't get along with her husband's relatives and/or friends. No one is obliged to love her mother-in-law and her husband's school friends, but it is unacceptable for a well-mannered woman to ignore them or behave offensively or provocatively towards them.
- Her relatives and/or friends consider themselves entitled to interfere in the relationship and “educate” her husband. A woman who respects herself and her family will not allow anyone to interfere in her life. Therefore, parents, relatives and friends should be regularly warned not to try to control the life of another family.
How to relieve your husband's irritation?
It is necessary to find out what exactly makes him furious, discuss the situation with him and find a way out of it. Only through dialogue can rapid positive results be achieved.
What a wife should not do:
- Arrange a showdown on the topic “and you infuriate me even more”;
- Ignore signals coming from your husband;
- Taking out dissatisfaction on children;
- Complain about your husband’s claims to your parents and friends.
If you can’t fix the problem yourself, you need to:
- Contact a psychologist or family counselor. A professional will help you build the right strategy for family behavior.
- Contact a neurologist. Possibly due to health problems nervous system, then requires drug treatment.
- Contact a religious minister. Many couples find faith helpful in times of marital crisis.
I annoy my husband. When I'm around he freaks out. When he's on a business trip, he calls endlessly. What I do, for example, eat, eat with appetite. Cleaning - does not clean up after himself. Bed, cup, socks
throws it on purpose so that I can clean up. When, for example, we are eating peacefully and cheerfully, he begins: “Look, there is dust in the chandelier, you are not doing anything.” And a couple of obscene compliments addressed to me. He doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, works...
Answer from theSolution psychologist:
Hello! Your husband's irritation may be due to his temperament or other reasons related to him. Let's look at them.
It is important to evaluate the attitude towards you in chronology
If your husband has always demonstrated such irritable behavior towards you, this may indicate psychopathy or psychopathization of a neurotic personality. After the candy-bouquet period, did he always criticize, humiliate, be dissatisfied, disappointed, demand obedience, justify his expectations, and the like? This behavior indicates a desire to satisfy one’s needs at the expense of other people. Such people tend to play the role of “Persecutor” or “Aggressor” in relationships. As a rule, kind, sympathetic, conscientious people are invited to play the role, whose behavior is very easy to control using various manipulations. It’s a big mistake to please, please, meet expectations and change yourself so that the “Persecutor” calms down.
Periodic irritability as a result of underdevelopment of emotional self-control
Periodic irritable behavior may indicate the psychopathization of a neurotic personality, when they imitate offending loved ones. When a person is convinced that he cannot solve problems, achieve what he wants and is extremely irritated and dissatisfied with this, he can transfer his irritation, anger, and dissatisfaction to other people, usually close and weaker ones. Most often they become wives, children, subordinates, pets. Using this form of behavior in stressful situation, a person can also complain, whine, appeal for sympathy and claim that he is right and is doing everything right, and external circumstances and other people are insurmountable obstacles and reasons for his failures. Since the cause of reactions to stress lies in the person himself, that is, in your spouse, and not in you, only he himself can influence his reactions and his behavior. He chooses how to treat people and react to situations with the help of his beliefs and. Emotional self-control skills must be developed before adolescence. If an adult has not learned to control his negative emotions, a specialist can help him. Psychopathization can be corrected through long-term psychotherapy.
Rule out psychopathy
Psychopathy is a serious and incurable condition in which a person does not experience moral feelings. In the modern classification of diseases 10th revision, psychopathy is called personality disorders. Psychopaths make no difference between actions, between humiliation and respect, between empathy and ignoring the feelings and needs of other people. They divide all people into useful and useless, those who can be used and those who are unnecessary. It is difficult for people who do not suffer from personality disorders to understand the behavior of psychopaths because their actions do not fit into moral norms. Psychopaths do not know how to appreciate, love, respect, sympathize, regret, they are simply not capable of it. But at the same time they are good at
They know how to seem like good, decent people, trustworthy. They know how to impress and mislead, they are skilled manipulators. That's why many people live next to psychopaths (fathers, brothers, husbands, sons, daughters) and don't know it. People living near psychopaths are prone to victimization.
With psychopathy, a person uses criticism, nagging, and humiliation to gain power over a partner. Psychological power means controlling the behavior of another person through emotional manipulation, and achieving one’s goals at the expense of another person and quickly satisfying one’s needs.
You can check for behavioral patterns of psychopaths using. Analyze your spouse’s behavior according to the above list.
Check your spouse for adultery (treason)
In the event that previously the husband was kind, caring and attentive man, and after some time suddenly becomes picky and irritable, it is worth checking his behavior for signs. It is important to consider the signs of betrayal in the context atypical for a man, behavior, that is, the emergence of new habits that were unusual for him before.
The main signs in a man’s behavior that indicate his infidelity:
- Changes in attitude towards you: became secretive and uncommunicative, stopped sharing his plans, experiences, news; became thoughtful, cold, irritable, rude (emotionally or physically); strange absences from home and a desire to spend free time without you appeared; stopped communicating with you on the phone, more often he is either busy or does not answer.
- There is frequent criticism addressed to you: became dissatisfied with your appearance, weight, clothing style, behavior, the way you cook, keep the house in order, your expenses; there were a lot of caustic remarks and painful jabs directed at you.
- Quality has changed intimate life: prolonged absence of intimate life, lack of desire on his part; coldness and detachment, emotional absence in the intimate sphere; intimate habits and preferences have changed, he began to behave unusually; You or your husband have developed sexually transmitted diseases; You began to find open packages of condoms in his things (especially when returning from business trips); the smell of someone else's women's perfume appeared on his clothes.
- Changes in my husband's appearance: he began to spend more time in front of the mirror, changed his perfume; I began to dress differently, new stylish things appeared, I changed the style of my underwear; began to play sports and monitor physical fitness; began to shave thoroughly and go to the hairdresser more often; After coming home, I began to spend a long time in the bathroom.
- New behavior regarding gadgets: set a password on your phone (laptop, tablet); does not leave the phone unattended and even goes to the toilet with it; began to receive frequent text messages and go out to talk on the phone in another room; I started receiving frequent text messages in the evenings and started using silent mode for text messages or calls; after talking on the phone, there is no information about the call in the phone; began to hide all browser tabs when you enter the room; began to retire to a laptop or tablet; began to conduct active correspondence with in social networks; registered an additional account; I became friends with a woman(s), bought a second phone or SIM card.
- Changes in work behavior: began to stay at work for a long time in the absence of job changes, frequent business trips, corporate trips, meetings, business meetings appeared (especially in the evenings); there were calls to work on weekends and holidays, in evening time; the husband began to dress for work as if for a holiday; I began to work more, but my money decreased; I felt very tired from working without a change and the like.
It is important for you to stop playing the role of “Victim” in relationships
This means not tolerating in a relationship what you don’t like, that causes pain and protecting your psychological
Why did my beloved husband become a stranger? What to do if a gap suddenly appears between spouses and it seems that love has gone away?
Women of any age tend to idealize their future husband during dating, and during the first time after marriage registration too. It seems that there is no better and dearer person in the world. A woman in love can mentally turn even the obvious shortcomings of her betrothed into advantages.
With a sinking heart loving wife looks at her sleeping husband, lovingly prepares him a delicious dinner, sees him off to work and looks forward to home.
But sometimes such affection, for seemingly incomprehensible reasons, disappears somewhere, and the once beloved person begins to irritate. What actually happens if you feel that your husband has become a stranger?
If you and your husband have become strangers
First of all, it is worth noting that it is quite natural to have insight into some unattractive traits in your spouse. Especially in cases where young people begin to live together after the candy-flower period. The girl sees her chosen one both tired and angry, irritated, because she spends most of her free time next to him. So it is quite logical for the scales to fall from our eyes in the first months and years of living together. But what to do if your husband suddenly becomes a stranger? What if, for no apparent reason, a loved one began to cause unpleasant feelings? What is the reason for such a dramatic change - from love to hostility and alienation?
Why did my husband suddenly become a stranger?
The reason for the change in attitude towards the husband is the departure of the feeling of love, which psychologists call limerence. When we are suddenly struck by a feeling of attachment to a certain person, we are not able to objectively evaluate the chosen one. We attribute to him even those (often ideal) traits that never existed. So, for example, some women do not seem to see the shortcomings of their spouses and are offended if they suddenly hear unflattering reviews about them. What is especially surprising is in cases where these highly praised men are clearly not ideal: they like to drink, are capable of leaving their family without a livelihood due to frequent binge drinking, and are inattentive to their wives. But in the eyes of loving wives they are the very best.
But nothing lasts forever, including the feeling of falling in love itself. And sometimes even a completely prosperous spouse can cause a feeling of irritation.
What must happen for a husband to become a stranger?
Actually, nothing special, love just goes away, and in its place there is no real sincere love, affection, friendship, or a feeling of kinship.
The woman, as if waking up from a dream, begins to notice something about her chosen one that, in her opinion, was not there before. She does not want to accept her husband with all the advantages and completely natural shortcomings. For example, in the first months after the wedding, the husband’s early rise and noise in the kitchen did not cause any negative emotions. And now there is only one desire - to express everything that is boiling. And then a single remark regarding the kitchen noise suddenly turns into a stream of abuse, all the sins, all the mistakes of the spouse are remembered. And sometimes women do not limit themselves to sorting out the relationship with their chosen one; on the contrary, they try to involve parents, girlfriends, and colleagues in the showdown. So that everyone around would know that for some reason the husband had become a stranger and became unbearable.
However, sometimes representatives of the fair sex tend to keep silent about their inner trouble when their loved one has become a stranger. Thus, a woman often disappointed in her chosen one bitterly notices first one or another unpleasant character trait or habit of her husband.
- She begins to get angry at his jokes, although she previously laughed until she cried.
- My husband's attempts to save seem like greed.
- His communication with friends is regarded as idleness, shirking from homework.
What's happening? If you listen to women, the answer will be something like this: “My husband and I have become strangers because he has changed a lot lately.” But is this really so?
Mistakes of female thinking
As we found out, the departure of love can sober up your view of your partner. And then you should accept that a person of the opposite sex has its disadvantages. It remains no less beloved, but can now be assessed critically in some situations. But sometimes the so-called black and white thinking comes into play, when we, people, are not able to put up with the shortcomings of our chosen ones.
Why, during meetings and dates, and even in the first year of marriage, my husband was so desirable, my heart beat every time I thought about him. And now, instead of an almost ideal spouse, a person who is quite unpleasant in many matters has appeared.
He doesn’t earn enough or dresses awkwardly, doesn’t know how to behave in society, reads little, can’t hold a conversation, and the like.
Real reasons for spouses to grow apart
In fact, the problem does not lie in the man’s true changes. Rather, the fault is that same two-color black and white thinking, when the chosen one can be considered only as good or only as exceptionally bad. In this case, no weaknesses are acceptable, and in some cases, weaknesses are even sucked out of thin air.
That is, the fact that a loved one has become a stranger is often to blame for women’s thinking according to the “either-or” principle (the chosen one is either ideal or disgusting).
All arguments regarding weaknesses that are permissible for a person in this case are smashed against the wall of female indignation (“my husband and I have become strangers,” “he is not at all the person I need”).
Against the background of incorrect and unfair black-and-white thinking, when with the passing of love all the disadvantages of the spouse are revealed in an unfavorable light, cognitive dissonance develops. That is, extreme psychological discomfort from having to live with an imperfect partner, accept his shortcomings and forgive them. A woman, feeling that her beloved has become a stranger, brings herself to real neurosis. She makes excessive demands on her husband, which he is unable to fulfill.
Moreover, an extremely irritated spouse over time begins to blame herself for the imperfection of her chosen one (“I should have seen from the very beginning what kind of person he is,” “I chose the wrong man as my husband, which means I’m a loser,” etc.). And then everything is no longer a joy.
How to regain affection for your beloved husband
If a loved one has become a stranger, this does not mean that it is not worth fighting to preserve the marriage and warm relationships in the family. You just need to do a little work on yourself to look at your spouse from a different angle. So, what to do to reconcile with your husband’s shortcomings, imaginary and real?
Explore the nuances of falling in love.
This fragile feeling is not allowed to last forever. It either develops into strong love, marital affection, or it cools down, and sometimes leads to indifference. So it’s not your spouse’s fault that he previously seemed like an ideal prince to you. More likely, you yourself simply did not want or could not see his negative traits.
Don't take your crush's passing as the end of the world.
It is only a stage in the development of relationships, a path that can lead to true love. But you can love a person despite their shortcomings. Think about it, there are couples who have spent decades with each other, but have retained sincere and strong feelings. But it’s stupid to think that after 40-50 years of marriage, wives do not know about the shortcomings of their husbands. They just learned to accept their negative qualities and quirks.
Look at yourself critically.
Let's say you blame your spouse for not being serious (he turns everything into a joke, lives one day at a time, does not strive to develop his career, etc.). But answer honestly, because you also have shortcomings? Do you think you would really be happy with the perfect person? After all, his demands on you would be very serious. So maybe it’s for the best that ideal people don’t exist?
Stop torturing yourself.
You chose your spouse because you wanted to be with him always. So why be so dramatic, noticing all its disadvantages? Surely he is a great person who will always be there in case of trouble. And it is he who will sincerely rejoice at your success. Close your eyes to annoying little things. What to do, because if you want, you can find flaws in everyone.
Don't be too categorical if your husband has become a stranger.
Of course, it would be easier to distinguish only white and black. But usually only at too young an age do people develop maximalist judgments. And with age comes the understanding that everything is much more complicated. So, even an imperfect partner can be a reliable husband, faithful, loving, honest, even with his own cockroaches in his head. So if your husband has suddenly become a stranger, look deep into yourself and don’t at least deliberately look for his shortcomings.
“Anastasia, hello! My letter can serve as the basis for your new article, the situation bothered me with its hopelessness. I have been married for 6 years, have two children, and have always considered myself a happy woman. But lately (about 4-5 months) I look at my husband and understand that everything about him annoys me.
I don’t want intimacy with him, I’m too lazy to talk to him, everything infuriates me - from his clothes to his voice. What should I do? Is this the end of love? Is it possible to somehow fix everything and save the family?”, Alexandra S., Volgograd.
I receive a considerable number of letters with a similar question, this is a fact and a reason to think... Not only women whose halves irritate them write, but also men whose wives irritate them. The topic is relevant, without a doubt. Today, using the example of a letter from my reader, we will discuss the following question: “ My husband has become annoying, how to stop love from leaving?».
What's wrong with me, doctor?
There is no smoke without fire - this is as old as time, but this is the truth. There is a root cause for everything, so let's list possible reasons why the husband suddenly began to annoy his wife. Only after you understand this issue will it become easier for you to curb your feelings and defuse the situation.
What can cause irritation in a woman towards her husband:
♠ pregnancy. In the case of my reader, this is not the case, but in a number of other similar situations, it is quite possible that against the background of pregnancy and the resulting changes in a woman’s body, the husband becomes an irritant. You need to wait out this period and everything will work out;
♠ constantly or for a long time together. If you both don’t work and sit at home, or vice versa, you work and live together, all this ultimately leads to fatigue from each other’s company, and in this case, separate rest will not harm you. Try to establish a personal space (interests, hobbies) for each of you in order to somehow distract yourself. After this, it is necessary to find new common interests and hobbies in order to continue enjoying joint leisure time and at the same time somehow diversify it;
♠ you can't understand yourself. This theory largely explains the reason for our irritation: in another person we are enraged by what is in ourselves and what we cannot accept. This happens subconsciously, so few people can agree with it.
Working with the subconscious will help - identifying limiting beliefs and removing negative blocks. For these purposes, use meditative techniques. If you are unable to learn meditation on your own, I am ready to help you with this with my experience.
Why did my husband become annoying? To begin with, it is very important to understand yourself and understand what does not suit you: appearance, habits, lifestyle and thinking, place of work, apartment. How satisfied are you with yourself and the achievements in your life? By answering these questions, you will see how the situation will slowly begin to resolve and take on shapes that are more understandable to you. Perhaps negativity towards your husband is just a signal that there is a problem and it lies much deeper than your relationship;
♠ no development, stagnation in relationships. When the husband ceases to be a prince and protector worthy of admiration for his wife, the man begins to play the role of a scapegoat. The woman wants changes, development, some kind of dynamics, but nothing happens. Day after day, the picture is the same: he comes home from work, lies down on the sofa, the remote control in one hand, a bottle of foam in the other.
How can you not get annoyed here? But you are angry, first of all, with yourself. Why can’t you motivate a man to do “feats”? Why did he come to this lifestyle next to you? Why doesn't he have goals? The woman is the neck, and the man is the head. Draw conclusions;
♠ unpleasant associations from the past. It also happens that a husband annoys his wife with behavior that was once characteristic of her father, brother, or classmate. This pattern of behavior terribly annoyed the woman in the past, leaving negative emotions and memories. Having encountered something similar again, the woman continues to react in the same way as she did once in the past. Analyze how possible this is and honestly admit to your husband what upsets you so much.
Now we come to the main question of What or what to do if your husband becomes annoying. The reasons are not so important as the decision - what do you want INSTEAD of your irritation?
Follow a clear plan
The first thing you need to do is line a sheet of paper into two columns. In the first, list what annoys you about your spouse (habits, actions). In the second column, list all his merits. Your task: for every minus, find a plus, or even two.
The second task is to write 10 points of what you would like to change in your husband. And (!) ask him to do the same for you. Exchange lists and then sit down at the negotiating table. Initially, try to create an atmosphere of some play, ease and goodwill. Perhaps you are just as far from ideal for your spouse, but now each of you can promise to take care of yourself, adjust your habits and behavior, replacing old ones with new ones that are more beneficial for your marriage.
You also have the right to introduce sanctions in your family for violation and non-fulfillment of the agreement. For example, if your spouse did not clear the crumbs from the table, he owes you dinner at the restaurant. Remember, you cannot do without a healthy sense of humor and a mutual desire to meet in family life.
Just remember
When you walk down the street and look at your feet, you see gray asphalt, holes and puddles. The longer you look at dirty asphalt, the more dirt you see. If you are not happy with this picture, just raise your head.
If you have made the decision to maintain and improve the relationship with your husband, but you continue to focus on his shortcomings, weaknesses and failures, you will not improve your marriage. Start looking around, finding pleasant, beautiful images, brave and noble deeds, care, humor and tenderness.
The most difficult thing is to take your eyes off the familiar picture, but our will helps us in this, which manifests itself in a firm decision to take some action. You don't think about how exactly you should take a spoon to eat soup, you don't choose between a spoon and a fork, because... You know for sure that you need a spoon for soup. You just do it - take a spoon in your hand.
Shift your focus to your spouse's positive character traits. Don't like the way he dresses? — Go shopping for new jeans and a shirt. Does his breath smell? — Hand him a certificate for two to carry out an ultrasonic cleaning procedure, which you “accidentally” won in a competition in a magazine.
And the final chord: you can simply release him to another pigeon, who will be glad to see him so dear and simple. Don't torture yourself. Don't offend him. Just put a beautiful point and go in peace
A if you Just “everything is annoying and annoying” I recommend watching this VIDEO.
Perhaps it would be more effective