Each person determines his own destiny. What determines a person’s destiny: the main criteria. Psychology of human destiny

Almost every one of us at least once thinks about what determines a person’s destiny. We are interested to know what the future holds for us and how we can influence it. In this article you will learn the most important factors that determine our destiny and understand how you can change it.

Some believe that everything is predetermined and therefore there is no need to stress too much in life. Others are confident that only they are the builders of their future and everything depends on them. Both of them are right in some ways.

We will never be able to change some events. This is the place and time of birth, parents and other relatives (by the way, by relatives you can roughly), any karmic lessons we need, and more. But we can still influence a significant part of our future, and we will also talk about this.

Why was I born here or what influences our destiny initially?

We do not choose where, to whom and when to be born. In this regard, our fate is already predetermined.

A person can be born into a rich family, or maybe into a poor one. Or one is born into a normal family, where love and understanding reign, and the other into a family of alcoholics or drug addicts. At first glance, this is completely unfair.

But in spiritual treatises it is said that in this world everything is tripled in an absolutely harmonious way and this world is woven from justice. Based on this, we can guess that birth in a particular situation is fate (consequence) for our past actions, thoughts, desires and lifestyle.

That is, the soul incarnates in different bodies from life to life in order to work off past fate or karma, as well as to fulfill its desires. This is called the circle of samsara. A vicious and absolutely meaningless circle.

This is what determines a person’s fate in the first place and we cannot influence it. But the further course of life, fortunately for us, can already be somehow adjusted and changed. Here a lot depends on ourselves.

What determines a person's destiny throughout life?

There is one thing interesting expression: difficult character - difficult fate. And it reflects the essence of reality.

Eastern psychology says that the qualities of our character determine our destiny. Accordingly, by changing our character, we can change our destiny.

Indeed, our character influences everything that happens in life. You will now see it with your own eyes.

• Our character traits are directly related to our desires

It is obvious that if a person is kind and sympathetic, then he wants one thing, and if a person is evil, greedy and selfish, then he wants something completely different.

• Thoughts are born based on our desires

Thoughts arise as plans to realize our desires. And thoughts have enormous power.

• Thoughts gradually turn into actions

A person plans something and then it turns into real actions, that is, the energy of thought is embodied in life.

• Actions form certain habits

When we do something with some frequency, it gradually turns into a habit. These can be both bad and good habits.

• Our character is formed from habits

Bad habits worsen character, good habits improve it.

• In external life, character manifests itself in the form of culture of communication, behavior, etc.

What a person is filled with inside inevitably manifests itself in external life in the process of interaction with other people. This is called culture.

• Culture, in turn, influences the quality of relationships with other people.

Depending on the degree of our culture, we will build either harmonious and long-term relationships, or the relationship will “burst at the seams.”

• Eastern psychology says: Properly built and harmonious relationships with people are the reason for success in all areas of life

Now we have come to the key point in which our character qualities result in what determines a person’s destiny. Bad character - no culture - no normal relationships - no success in life. Good character - a person is cultured - he knows how to build relationships correctly - success and happiness come into life.

Here is a simple algorithm that reveals the influence of our character on fate.

Moral: character is destiny

How to make your future better, more successful and happier? Based on the above, a simple conclusion can be drawn. The path to happiness and success in your destiny and life consists of two steps:

1. We need to accept the living conditions into which we were born according to our destiny. We ourselves are the reason for what kind of parents and other relatives we have, what level material wealth in our family and in what city and country we live;
2. You should immediately begin to work on your character qualities, cultivating positive qualities in yourself (kindness, courage, justice, tolerance, determination, etc.) and eradicating negative qualities (anger, greed, envy, lust, etc.).

Work on these areas and you will experience changes in your life for the better.

In addition to this article, study materials about what influences fate and how to influence it yourself in the article

I have been tormented by a question for a long time: “Does a person have destiny, karma, or do we create it ourselves with our thoughts and actions?”

In search of an answer, I read a lot of books and information on the Internet, and any conversation on this topic still arouses keen interest in me.

Why?

If a person does not have a destiny, and he creates it himself with his thoughts, deeds, actions, then why do some people succeed, while others, no matter what they undertake, everything comes to naught (“apparently their mother gave birth on Monday...) ? And where do we get these thoughts, rash actions, bad habits and bad states, if we ourselves can build and change everything?

There are actually more questions. If you think about it seriously, then even more of them appear, accumulating like a snowball, and capturing values ​​and meaning of human life, his activities, happiness, life and death, love...

Bad karma, damage and the stars are not aligned

After all, a person doesn’t sit on the couch all day long, but tries, takes active steps, puts in effort, what’s wrong? His habits are not correct, does he act incorrectly? So how should it be? Who teaches? And if you can learn how to do everything “right” and “correct”, then where is the karma? So it can be changed?...

Where do thoughts come from? From the subconscious. What are actions? - a consequence of our thoughts and desires (often not consciously realized by the mind). Then the fate of a person is in the subconscious. If you know how to look into the unconscious and cognize it, then you can change karma. Right?

Let's take a look into the subconscious?

Each person has their own values ​​and meaning of life. Your thoughts, your perception of reality, your destiny, your karma. Why?

I found most of the answers to my “Whys” by looking into the subconscious using system-vector psychology. Eight vectors that add up to different combinations our mental. Eight types of temperament, and rules for mixing them. Understanding and systematically adding up vectorial features, correlating them with the conditions for the development of vectors before a person’s puberty, and the conditions for the implementation of vectorial properties in adult life, we get a picture of the subconscious person, which forms thoughts, desires, and finds ways to realize them in life.

Are vectors destiny?

Vector properties and qualities develop until puberty (adolescence 12-14 years). If before this time the conditions of life, upbringing, and education help the child to develop precisely in his own properties, he has a greater chance of realizing himself in life, finding his best destiny and being happy. If not, then the properties and qualities remain in an underdeveloped state, which forces a person to live a less successful life scenario.

As one of the worst options, as a result of incorrect upbringing and development, a person has formed a negative life scenario (for example, in the skin vector, a scenario for failure, or a victimological complex in the cutaneous-visual ligament, a suicidal complex in the urethral-sound ligament, or manic in the sense of smell , and etc.)

That is, it does not depend on a person what vectors he was born with and in what family. From birth, he is endowed with his own characteristics and properties, desires embedded in vectors. His parents, their vectorial characteristics, their views on life and upbringing, their living conditions are also factors independent of a person that set the tone of his life. We are unable to change these factors.

What gives us “bad karma”?

After puberty, a person needs to “take his destiny,” that is, to realize himself, according to his vectorial characteristics in the development in which they exist, in order to be happy and satisfied.

Often a person finds himself captive of “false desires,” that is, desires imposed by society, stereotypes, standards, replacing their own with them. We do not and cannot know our unconscious properties and desires. Fortunately, some people manage to find fulfillment according to their inner qualities. But how often do we find ourselves disoriented in this life and chasing chimeras of generally accepted values, which obviously cannot make us happy...

It happens that a person, as they say, has excellent starting positions, naturally has great potential, has many abilities, inclinations and desires, and has an excellent family. But! In affluence and the absence of an incentive to move, a person “refuses” to make any effort, sits and rationalizes his “doing nothing” with anything but reality.

And it happens the other way around, a person is born into a poor family, difficult circumstances, but great desire and perseverance allows him to develop his natural qualities, helps him overcome many difficulties and take “his destiny”, finding himself a worthy realization and fulfillment of his desires!

We often rationalize such cases with “talent will always find its way” or similar statements. In fact, whatever the initial conditions in life, what helps you “take your destiny” is, first of all, a passionate desire to do what you love. And the most important condition is to know who you are and what you really want.
That is, here we can already change our destiny! We can strive, achieve our desires, do everything possible for this. To go where our interests and desires are, and not where our parents send us or it is generally believed that it is “coated with honey.”
Thus, we cannot change our vectors and the conditions in which we were born, but understanding our psyche is a real tool to consciously approach fate, and not rely on something from above...

How to improve a child's fate?

We perceive other people through ourselves. We say: “When I was little, I wanted a dog so bad, but all you have to do is play on the computer...”, or “You’ll go to art school, I’ve always dreamed of this, but somehow it didn’t work out for me, but You have your whole life ahead of you..."

In general, parents try to impose their unfulfilled or realized desires on their child. But it is not at all necessary that the child will be endowed with the same vectors as his parents. He has a different karma (vector set). And his parents are trying to give him theirs. What comes out of this? - Only an unhappy, undeveloped, unfulfilled person in society.

How to improve the fate of an adult?

Of course, by realizing our nature, we cannot completely change all the mechanisms and reactions laid down in childhood, received from parents and the environment, but we are able to make adjustments to the life scenario, which was previously unconscious and unfolded in a way incomprehensible to us. Sometimes, just awareness of your nature can turn your life in a different direction, save you from many troubles and disappointments...
There is no evil fate above us, no unchangeable bitter destinies and no cross placed on life. We have much more in our hands than we can even imagine. The key to everything is to understand yourself and live your life consciously.

People can be roughly divided into two categories: those who believe that a person lives according to a predetermined scenario, and those who are sure that everyone chooses which path to follow. Many people are interested in what a person’s fate depends on, whether it can be recognized and changed, so let’s try to figure it all out.

The fate of a person - what is it?

A certain trajectory of movement towards the fulfillment of the Lord's destiny is called fate. The script of life has its end, but not everyone can recognize it. The huge interest in the future explains the popularity of various fortune telling, palmistry and other methods of discovering the secrets of the future. It is believed that human destiny is reflected on the hand, on. Man exists in the material and spiritual world and it is important to achieve harmony in these areas.

Each person's destiny is made up of a chain of certain life accidents, and when he deviates from the right path, many problems and troubles arise in his life. At birth, several options are offered for building your own life, and everyone can choose which path to follow. Another interesting fact, which is worth emphasizing - the word “fate” stands for “I will judge,” that is, depending on how people exercise the resulting freedom of choice, they acquire a certain value that is important for the universe.

Psychology of human destiny

Experts in the field of psychology prefer not to use the word “fate” and they use a neutral phrase - life scenario. This term refers to the path that a person subconsciously chooses for himself. Psychologists believe that a person who believes in the inevitability of fate often lets everything take its course, assuring that he is still unable to change anything. The opinions of some experts deserve special attention:

1. Psychologist Berne assured that a child in childhood chooses his own life scenario, and this is influenced by his close environment and general environment. The specialist believes that people consciously strive for one thing, and subconsciously for another. To live happily, it is important to understand your own life scenario.
2. An interesting view was suggested by Swiss psychologist Leopold Szondi. He believes that a person's fate is linked to heredity. The specialist introduced the concept of “ancestral unconscious,” which indicates that the experience of ancestors affects all aspects of life.

Does a person have a destiny?

To verify or refute the existence of a written life script, it is worth considering different versions:

1. In Vedic culture, it is believed that at birth a person is given a certain number of years, children, money and other aspects.
2. In finding out, it is worth remembering the numerous predictions of the future that came true.
3. In Indian culture it is said that there are two karmas that mix and change life for better or worse. The first is a script destined from above, and the second is a person’s actions.

What does a person's fate depend on?

There are several factors that, according to many, can influence fate:

1. Date of Birth. If you know not only the year and day of birth, but also the time, you can find out a lot of information about a person and even look into his future. There are different horoscopes that reveal accurate information. By date of birth, you can determine favorable and unfavorable events.
2. Name. When understanding what influences a person’s destiny, it is worth mentioning the importance of the name, which is a certain information code. It helps to talk about behavioral characteristics and habits. Psychics believe that a person has a soul name that will reveal hidden potential and help him find his purpose in life.
3. Place of Birth. It is believed that the magnetic field of the place where there was a man is born, leaves an imprint on his life. This information must be taken into account when drawing up a horoscope.
4. Upbringing. A child’s close environment not only leaves an energetic imprint on his life, but also gives impetus to psychological development. There is an assumption that the life program is built on the basis of the experience of ancestors, which is why it is said that the karma of the family influences the fate of a person.
5. Social norms. Society drives people into certain frameworks and often, in order to change their destiny, it is necessary to go against the flow and get out of them.

How does character influence a person's destiny?

Many people believe that there is nothing in common between these two concepts, but in fact this is not the case. Fate is a specific program for a person’s earthly incarnation, which influences the events of life and the formation of his qualities. It is believed that by changing your lifestyle, you can adjust the future scenario. To understand whether a person’s character and fate are connected, we can consider the following examples of the fate of famous people:

1. Dostoevsky was a gambling person, so he spent huge amounts of money and often got into conflict with people. Who knows what his fate would have been like if he had not changed after his marriage.
2. Another example is Chekhov, who had a hot temper. To overcome his vices, he created an entire educational program “squeezing a slave out of oneself.” As a result, the man’s fate changed, and the world recognized a gentle and kind humanist.
3. It is believed that even one character trait can radically change one’s fate; for example, the hero of the film “Back to the Future”, who fell into different situations because of my own pride.

Is it possible to change a person's destiny?

People, faced with various problems, wondered if there were ways to make adjustments to their life scenario. Esotericists and many psychologists, answering the question whether a person can change his destiny, give a positive answer, believing that everyone himself determines which path to choose from among numerous options. This can be done different ways, for example, using magical practices and techniques. A person who believes in fate, by adjusting his life, according to the advice of psychologists, can change his future for the better.

How to change fate?

In order to rewrite the script of fate, it is necessary to make a lot of effort. Life circumstances are shaped by a person's worldview. You can’t escape fate, but you can make adjustments to it:

1. Learn , which should inspire, delight and motivate.
2. Engage in self-development, for example, read books, go to courses, trainings, and so on.
3. Change your lifestyle and, if necessary, your social circle, as this all affects your mood and worldview.
4. Think positively and discard what is not at all necessary.
5. Accept your life as it is.

The fate of man is esoteric

People who are associated with esotericism are sure that the life scenario has a direct connection with thoughts, since they, although many do not believe, are material. Without realizing it, a person can become a slave of his thoughts, which will predetermine life. If people have dark thoughts, then their fate will be filled with various problems and sad events. It is necessary to learn to think positively and immediately respond even to signs of the appearance of thoughts that can disrupt the harmony in the soul.

How does a tattoo affect a person’s destiny?

Esotericists and psychics claim that a design applied to the body can change a person’s life, since it has energy, so before going to the master, you need to find out about the meaning of the chosen tattoo. The influence of a tattoo on a person’s fate also depends on the place where it will be tattooed:

• neck - helps to become more restrained;
• hand – makes one uncompromising and a person loses flexibility in decision-making;
• breasts – leads to isolation and lack of communication;
• back - with such a tattoo a person will strive to prove his uniqueness;
• buttocks - gives.

The influence of planets on human destiny

Even in ancient times, people believed that the planets influence a person, revealing and filling his personality. Knowing the time and place of birth, you can find out how the planets were located at that moment. There is an opinion that you can fully understand how a person’s fate develops thanks to the planets:

1. Mars. Gives a person a warlike character and forces him to develop willpower.
2. Sun. Answers celestial body for energy. Under the influence of the Sun, it is necessary to learn not to become discouraged.
3. Venus. Represents the relationship between a man and a woman. Lesson from Venus - it is important to learn to build relationships and let go of the past.
4. Saturn. This planet is considered a karmic teacher, so it teaches how to survive and cope with difficulties.
5. Jupiter. Patron of luck and prosperity. The lessons that can be learned from this planet are poverty, fanaticism and addiction.
6. Mercury. She is responsible for communication and helps to establish contact with people.

Signs of fate on the human body

It is believed that numerous moles, birthmarks and even acne are, thanks to which you can learn a lot of information. Large dark or bright spots in most cases indicate the need to work off karma. If they have just appeared on the body, then this indicates certain life changes. All signs in a person’s destiny have their own meaning, for example, a mole on the bridge of the nose indicates untapped talents, and if it is on the nose, it means that the person will be lucky in life.

Films about the fate of man

Cinema regularly delights the public with interesting films that tell interesting and sometimes unusual stories about the destinies of people. Among the worthwhile films are the following:

1. "Desert Flower". This is the story of a girl from Somalia who ran away from home at the age of 13 and after some time life brought her to London. Despite fate, she became famous model, who was eventually appointed as a UN special envoy.
2. "12 years of slavery". Main character This film had everything a person needs: a job, a home, education and family, but fate destined him for something completely different. One day he was offered an attractive job in another state, but ended up being kidnapped and forced into slavery.

Books about people's destinies

In many literary works, at the center of the plot is a person with a difficult or interesting fate, which the author talks about. Examples include the following books:

1. "Companion" L. Moriarty. This work tells the story of two different women, which are opposite to each other. The difficult fate of each brings them together and in the end they prove that everyone can change.
2. "Dyatlov Pass, or the Secret of the Nine" A. Matveeva. The tragic story, which remained unsolved, interested many. From this book you can understand that life and fate are unpredictable.

There are two opinions regarding the fate of man:

Fate is destined for us from above; you cannot escape from fate.
Your destiny is in your hands, you determine your own destiny.

It is impossible to prove or disprove this or that statement. You can find out which opinion is more popular - but this does not answer which of them is closer to the truth. Therefore, instead of asking the question: is my future determined or not, it is better to ask the question: how would I like my fate to be determined in advance, or could it be chosen?

If I knew exactly what was written in my destiny happy life, I wouldn't try to change it.

If I knew for sure that my destiny was loss, grief and sadness, I would want to change my destiny.

In any case, I would strive for a happy life...

One of the eastern parables tells how one day a servant ran to his master and, shaking with excitement and fear, asked to be allowed to go to Baghdad for a couple of weeks. When the master asked what had happened, the servant replied that he saw death at the market, shaking its finger at him. The gentleman, of course, let him go, and he quickly left. The next day, the gentleman himself met death at the market and was not afraid to ask why it frightened his subject so much. “Scared? - she was surprised, “I just wanted to remind him that tomorrow I’m waiting for him in Baghdad.”

“A person, when in trouble, is accustomed to blaming fate for everything. And he’s unreasonable and doesn’t want to see his own mistakes.” Hitopadesha

Fate is a developing course of events, a coincidence of circumstances. According to superstitious beliefs, it is a force that predetermines everything that happens in life, fate, fate. There are other synonyms: fate, share, life path. There is an opinion that fate cannot be changed. It is this point of view that is used by many philosophical and religious teachings.

But there are other opinions. In ancient times they said: “Every person’s destiny is created by his morals.” “There are no accidents in fate; a person creates rather than meets his destiny,” wrote L.N. Tolstoy. “If you sow an action, you will reap a habit; if you sow a habit, you will reap a character; if you sow a character, you will reap a destiny.” What is this saying about? What is the action, habit, character and destiny of a person?

An action can be understood as a human action, together with the result of this action and its moral assessment. The division into negative and positive categories occurs precisely in moral terms and may not coincide with the “usefulness” (in the generally accepted sense) of the achieved result. Thus, in the process of transferring experience from parents to children, violence is often allowed. The result can be achieved, but its moral side will be negative, since the child will remember that through violence against another person you can teach him something. And over time, the position is confirmed that violence can solve any problems, tasks, including social, material, management, etc.

This leads to a chain of errors, which are usually passed on from generation to generation through upbringing and communication. The moral assessment of an action speaks about its consequences - whether it brings benefit or harm to someone. The action also has a corresponding impact on the life of the one who committed it. But the harm of even serious mistakes can be corrected if they are detected in time. Errors that are not detected in time lead to those events that people then attribute to “unlucky fate.”

Repeatedly committing the same act leads to the formation of the habit of acting in such conditions exactly this way and not otherwise. ABOUT bad habits everyone knows. But are there “good” habits? Perhaps they could exist if life stood still. Then a person, like a wind-up toy, would have to mechanically perform the same actions, following the rules learned once and for all.

Often a habit is associated with linking a person’s actions or state to some external factors. These factors make up the walls of the microcosm in which his life passes. Harm from habits can only be noticed when the addictive factors disappear or change. They shifted the necessary things, turned off the water or electricity, did not deliver bread to the store on time, blocked the usual route to work - and negative reactions are triggered, from irritation and dissatisfaction to complete confusion and panic. At the same time, participants in the situation tend to look for those to blame - from neighbors and family members to the authorities, instead of looking for a way out.

Habits are convenient for their “owner”; they allow one not to think, relying on what he is used to, but they also quietly lead a person into a trap. It would seem that following habits “makes life easier”, but at the same time it slows down development. Finding himself in unusual circumstances, a person experiences difficulties in solving non-trivial problems. Namely, when solving such problems, abilities are revealed.

The entire set of actions, abilities, skills and habits of a person is part of his character. Character traits are individual habits and positive skills. If actions are performed consciously, i.e. a person can explain why he did this, then they form the beliefs that guide him in life.

Astrologers believe that everything, including a person’s future character, is determined by the position of the stars at the time and place of his birth; astrological forecasts. Is it so? The roots of astrology lie in ancient times, when people considered the constellations as gods that could control their lives and worshiped them. In fact, it is not fate that unambiguously determines a person’s character, but character that shapes what can be called fate.

Many people wonder why everything in my life is the way it is. Why do I have this particular family, job, friends? Where did all this come from? Of course, we chose it ourselves. A choice is an action or a chain of actions. For example: a young man attends a dance, becomes a member of a certain company, he likes a girl, he dates her and finally gets married. Each action is not only serious steps, but even the most “little” thing: where to go, what to wear, who to talk to - a decision made.

Any decision is not made by a person by chance - decisions are based on a value system. Values ​​include what a person considers good. In his choice, a person most often leans toward what he is attracted to, likes, or what he considers his duty. Thus, there is a direct relationship between a person’s value system and his life “lot” - consciously or unconsciously, a person throughout his life seeks and finds what he considers valuable. The value system itself is a product of education and information perceived by a person throughout his life. If values ​​are questionable, then both the path to them and their achievement will not bring anything good to a person.

What if others make decisions for a person? For example, parents or someone authoritative advised me to go to university, get married, or get a certain job. In fact, in this case too, he chooses himself whether to listen to advice or not. This is the choice of people with an unstable value system, who themselves do not know what they want. If a person no longer wants to live in “someone else’s mind” and decides to think independently, then he will refuse an unreasonable choice, but will choose the right one, not harmful, may find benefit in what he already has (work, study, etc.).

So, decisions made play a key role in shaping the conditions and events of a person’s life. And they are the ones who are able to change these conditions in the right direction. For example: having once deceived, a person is forced to either continue to lie in order to confirm what was said earlier, or admit to deception. If he has the determination to confess everything without fear of condemnation and punishment, the situation will improve. If not, the lie will continue, sucking you in like a swamp. Making the right decision in a timely manner can turn a person’s whole life around. Sometimes this change occurs immediately, sometimes gradually: views, goals, beliefs change - life changes.

An important role in this change is played by the ability of the human intellect to distinguish: necessary from unnecessary, true from false, benefit and creativity from harm and destruction. Basic moral values ​​are embedded in a person’s mind from childhood; all that remains is to use this information to evaluate one’s own actions. The ability for adequate self-esteem allows you to adjust your value system at any stage of life, and, in accordance with this correction, replan your daily activities. The ability to timely implement these plans into action is also important. A person with a developed ability to adjust his actions can flexibly manage life, like a professional driver, “steering out” of life’s adversity. Note that no one can perform such an adjustment except the person himself. Regular review of one’s actions and views, correction of mistakes allows a person to “put things in order” in his life, leads to a gradual departure from shortcomings and the formation positive qualities character. Of course, the effort and time that this will require depends on the degree of “mess,” however, such a possibility is always there.

Often, a tendency to various attitudes and superstitions interferes with managing life. If you find yourself in some kind of trouble, without considering its causes, you can become convinced that this will always happen. When a person thinks: “I am a failure - this is my destiny,” he thereby refuses to show his abilities. He begins to turn a blind eye to his mistakes: “What’s the point of trying, you still can’t fix anything.” It would not be surprising if his failures were repeated. And this will only strengthen his opinion of himself. About the same thing happens when a person “gets used” to troubles and does not look for ways out of them.

“This is my cross,” the woman thinks about drinking husband. But in fact, any problem has its own causes, which can be discovered by analyzing the events that preceded it. The cause of the problem may be a wrong choice at certain points in life, or a negative attitude towards someone or something. If a person’s life has reached a dead end, it means that he needs to mentally return back to the place from which he “got lost” and continue to move on without repeating past mistakes.

Thus, self-education allows a person to become a full master of his life. What character traits a person cultivates in himself, these are the results he will achieve in life. To do this, it is necessary and sufficient to be honest with yourself - not to build illusions about yourself, not to make excuses, not to look for those to blame, to consciously and independently make decisions and put them into action.

How to stop stepping on a rake:

1. First of all, try to become aware of your own “programs”. What recurring life events haunt you? In what areas of life are you constantly “unlucky”? Make a list of all the failed romances or job quits and try to understand what they all have in common. Try to be as objective and specific as possible - instead of “all men are unscrupulous scoundrels,” write “they cheated on me, but I didn’t know anything.”

2. Think about whether this is similar to situations from your childhood? For example, an overly demanding boss may be - or seem to you - very similar to your own father, and your resentment and desire to “rebel” may exactly repeat the feelings you experienced in childhood. Often this awareness alone is enough to change the perception of the situation.

3. Figure out how you yourself unconsciously provoke such events? Understand what your own actions led to such a turn of fate. “If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always gotten,” says the psychological axiom. So try to do something fundamentally new - at least as an experiment.

4. Make your own “set of rules” - a list of situations and actions that you need to avoid. For example, if you are plagued by conflicts with your superiors at work, remember this and do not try to “seek justice.” If your strong point is indifferent men, try not to get close to those who demonstrate their own indifference and independence - do not hope to change him with your love and attention. In a word, avoid any approach to anything that promises a repetition of your negative program.

5. Understand what you are striving for. Often our lives are controlled by external events and circumstances only because we do not take the trouble to manage it ourselves. “If you don't have your own desires, your life will be controlled by the desires of others,” someone said. It’s the same with fate - the less you yourself understand what you are striving for and where you want to move, the more you will be controlled by those very “programs” of Lame Fate, embedded since childhood. Therefore, realize what you would like instead of those situations that you would like to correct. Visualize your desired outcome in detail. And believe me, everything will definitely be like this.

So does our future depend on us?

Even if the events of our lives are determined, we can choose the way they will happen. With our thoughts and actions we can bring events closer and further away.

This phrase became the main idea of ​​James Allen's immortal and often quoted book, Thinking Man.

So how can you change your destiny for the better? It's up to you to decide. Just make sure you know what kind of destiny you want to have. Act according to your conscience and let life bring you pleasant surprises.

Henry David Thoreau noted:

I don’t know anything more inspiring in life than the undeniable ability of a person to elevate his life through conscious efforts.

What is fate? Each of us asked this question - reflected, analyzed, tried to come to some conclusion... I wanted to understand for myself what HIS own destiny represents for him, whether those events that occur on the path of life are destined from birth or are they just a question of choice? But various events, sometimes of an inexplicable nature, one way or another led us astray from a specific personal understanding of the issue of fate and forced us to reconsider our attitude to many things...

So does it exist? Does it include the concept of the meaning of life? Or is this very meaning of life a synonym for the word “fate”? Alas, no one can answer this question with certainty. People live, get on well... And everything is fine with them. And then, out of the blue, some event happens (joyful or sad - it doesn’t matter), which unsettles you and gives you reason to think about your life and destiny. Was this destined? Am I to blame for what happened? Or am I lucky? And if I am lucky, can this be considered as an integral part of only my personal destiny? After all, all people are different. What exists and happens in one person is unlikely to be repeated with accuracy in another.

Nothing just happens?
It can be assumed that each person’s concept of fate is based on his specific faith. Faith in God, in the universe, in something else - it can be called differently. This man believes that fate as such, it is that all the sorrows and joys sent to him from above are inevitable, he takes everything for granted... It turns out that he is going with the flow? Then we can conclude that such a person does not develop, although, on the other hand, one might think that “everything that does not kill us only makes us stronger.”
“Nothing in life just happens... This is destined for us by fate... So so be it... Isn’t it too primitive and one-sided? - says the psychologist Svetlana Stasyukevich. “Only a weak person can think like that.” After all, if you perceive everything that happens around you so passively, then why live? Everything that happens in the life of every person is only the creation of his hands. It is undeniable that there is higher power, God, but it is unlikely that he “makes” people losers and darlings of fate. Fate? Rock? In my opinion, these are just words that, apparently, were invented by a person who simply wanted to justify the failures in his life.”

Make your own happiness?
So, one such “swimming with the flow” in this very current may constantly be lucky, but another – not. This is destiny? Or does a person who believes in fate, but completely disagrees with the trials that are sent to him from above, begin to fight for what he needs? And in the end, he can again believe that THIS is how fate tested his strength, that he had to not break in order to achieve his goal... So this was destined by fate? Is this disagreement? Struggle? Or is there still no fate, and a person is able to build his own life and become lucky? After all, remember how a man created from clay asked God: “Make me happiness,” and God, holding out his hands to him with the remaining piece of clay, said: “Make it yourself.”
Svetlana Stasyukevich: “Every person builds his own destiny, there is no other way. Often, it is easier for weak and unstable individuals to blame external circumstances for their failures, because this is easier than admitting the error of their actions. Only strong and confident people can fight for the desired object. Many people are attracted by the process itself, the algorithm of actions to achieve the goal, others - by the result, but both make a person strong, and, therefore, achieve the object of his goal. And it’s unlikely that a strong and self-confident person wants to think about the question “if only...”, “maybe...” or look for someone to blame for his failures.”

A question of choice?
Or maybe fate is what a person chooses for himself? For example, his dreams and aspirations? But why then does everything come true for one such “dreamer”, but for the other, no matter how much effort he makes, it doesn’t? This is destiny? Or is the second one not following his own branch of the probability of fate development? Do these branches even exist? For example, there are talented people from birth - they could become famous artists, but became successful businessmen. For some, this choice occurred consciously and immediately, while for others, it was under the influence of relatives. For example: they say, you, son, should follow in your parents’ footsteps and become an entrepreneur, continue the family business, and your songs, dances, etc. - this is not serious.
But... if a person subsequently changes his mind and begins to do what he likes best, where and what then is fate? In parental influence and sincere conviction that THIS will be better for their child (then a person compromises with himself out of respect for elders and, sometimes, loses years of his life that he could devote to his favorite business) or in a conscious choice, When do informed decisions cease to be so?
Svetlana Stasyukevich: « Dreams and a person’s aspirations are the “engines” of personal development. And they come true not because a person simply wants something very much, he does everything possible to realize them. There is no other option. Each person is individual, each is remarkable in some way, the only problem is that many ruin their abilities and become ordinary office workers, when they have all the prerequisites to become chefs or showmen. By consciously choosing what we really want to do, we do not carry out parental introjects, do not follow their professional preferences and do not program ourselves to repeat someone else’s life scenario, which means we live our own individual and interesting life. And this is the merit of our hands alone.”

What about deja vu?
Is it fate that everything you wanted and dreamed about constantly reminds you of itself? deja vu and signs? When, finding yourself in a completely new situation, do you realize that you have already been in it or seen it in a dream? So this was supposed to happen in your life? So, fate still exists and this is how it tells you that you are on the right path?
My dad says that the fate of a person is in the hands of three people - God, a guardian angel and the person himself. And it is in this sequence that decisions are made and events are created...

What we have
Fate is a polysemantic term that means: destiny and its fulfillment, life path, coincidence and fate. But belief in fate contradicts the Divine Revelation on which Christianity is based. Saint John Chrysostom said that “the doctrine of fate was sown by the devil.”
Among the ancient pagans, fate is the incomprehensible predetermination of human events and actions. The fate of a pagan is fate. Man is a plaything of fate, a slave of circumstances. You cannot escape fate, you cannot change it, you can only submit to it.
And in science, the role of fate is played by causal determination, i.e. causality. There is no fate as fate, but there are natural laws of the physical world that cannot be changed, the action of which cannot be escaped.
In contrast to the indicated options for fate, in religious consciousness there is the concept of fate as a teleological determination, i.e. providence. It is not blind fate, not impersonal physical laws, but the creator who controls human life.

What do respondents think?
Alexander Bondarev, system administrator: “I view fate as a task that is set by something or someone otherworldly. This is some kind of curved line that was destined for you from the very beginning. You can't escape fate. And if it doesn’t exist, then we live according to human laws, therefore, we build it for ourselves. Many people live and do not think about questions of fate, and when they are “covered”, they begin to believe in it...”